The Holy Empire of Saint Andles is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Alric Wolff with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, ubiquitous missile silos, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.817 billion Saint Andlesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Andlesburg. The average income tax rate is 55.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Saint Andlesian economy, worth 265 trillion francs a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 69,466 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Boys are forced to pair off for the school disco slow dance as the girls are all staying at home, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description, the government is coughing up funds for lung cancer victims, and powerful x-ray machines used by the Customs Department can see into the homes of nearby residents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Saint Andles's national animal is the eagle and its national religion is Catholicism.

Saint Andles is ranked 80,242^nd in the world and 486^th in 10000 Islands for Safest, scoring 90.41 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.